What About Us
by music-kid3
Summary: A story about Nathan and Peyton pre-series as well as into the show, but following a different story line. How long can 2 people break each other before one shatters, or one heals them both? Drama, Romance, Pathan. Give it a try.
1. Chapter 1

**What About Us**

**Chapter 1: Cycle**

**A/N: Before you start reading this, I'm warning you I'm a terrible updater with a slew of unfinished stories and empty, broken promises about updating. Nonetheless, I am starting this story, and I wont make any promises about when it will be updated, but I'm going to try. The story starts at the end of sophomore year, and though there will be some LP and NH, this is definitely a Neyton/Pathan story. Mostly inspired by the beginning of season 1 and the false hope OTH offered Pathan fans at the end of season 2, as well as the first fanfiction I ever read about 3 years ago, **_**Guilty Until Proven Innocent **_**by Rachtree, which is so amazing and still being written, so you should definitely check it out. There will definitely be differences in the stories, the plot to be most accurate, but I loved the exploration into NP's relationship, so here's my take at it. I hope you enjoy!**

It was the last day of school, the end of sophomore year, and they were broken up. It shouldn't have really surprised her, seeing as how they'd never been able to keep their act together for long. But still, knowing that they wouldn't be together that night really hurt her. She knew he wouldn't be around until the first week of summer parties ended, maybe longer, because he would never willingly pass up the slew of girls he could be hooking up with just to be with her. She never understood how he could claim to love her, claim to only really want _her_, and sleep with all the girls he did. It wasn't like she didn't get her fair share of offers either – usually from guys who had heard about their latest break up and were hoping for a shot at melting the ice queen – yet she just couldn't imagine letting another guy touch her the way that only he had, even if he had no qualms, even when they were together, being with other girls the way he was only meant to be with her. Just the thought made her cringe as she slammed her locker shut and removed her belongings from within it for the last time this school year. When she turned around, she was faced with none other than the bubbling face of her best friend, Brooke Davis.

"Brookie monster," she smiled, "what's up?" Brooke seemed to be bubbling over with excitement, her lips pressed tightly together as if she wouldn't be able to stop herself from exploding where she stood without the serious effort.

"Oh nothing P. Sawyer," she said mischievously her grin widening, "just thinking about all the beautiful, beautiful boys with beautiful, _beautiful_ bodies who will be shirtless at the beach party tonight" she giggled, but stopped when Peyton rolled her eyes as she placed her bag inside of Brooke's car. The brunette had just gotten her license a few weeks prior, and though Peyton was a little ticked that she would now be the last of her friends to drive, she was thankful that wouldn't be taking the bus despite her and Nathan's latest breakup. "What?" she heard Brooke question from the driver's seat of her new car.

Peyton shrugged and avoided Brooke's eyes. "About that Brooke, I don't really feel in the partying mood." She didn't think for a second that Brooke would buy it, or that she would get out of going to this party, but it was always worth a try. From the way Brooke was looking at her, as if she'd grown a tail, a second head, and developed scales, Peyton could only assume that her attempt at escape had failed miserably even after Brooke focused on the road and pulled out of the school.

Brooke looked sternly at the curly blonde before speaking, "Why would you not want to go to a party?" She saw Peyton's lips open up with a response but kept going, "I mean, we're young, free to hook up, and it's summer time. Why wouldn't you want to embrace all of that and watch hot guys with no shirts run around on the beach?"

"Maybe because I know my boyfriend will be one of the guys 'hooking up' and it _won't_ be with me. So excuse me if I don't want to sign up for a front row seat of him shagging every girl with a pulse."

"Your _ex_-boyfriend, P. Sawyer! You said it yourself that you were done with him for good this – "

"Brooke I'm not going, just leave it alone!" she yelled, but as she watched Brooke's face fall, she instantly softened. "It's not that I don't want to go out with you, I just don't want to see Nathan. I lied. I don't want to be without him Brooke, and seeing him there tonight will just hurt me, so no, I don't want to go." She was glad to see they'd made it to her house; she just wanted to escape this situation as soon as possible. As she opened her car door and stood up, she heard the door on the opposite side of the car slam shut. She gave Brooke a look, but the brunette just shook her head and kept walking towards Peyton's front door. When they got inside, she felt Brooke's eyes on her back.

She tried to ignore it at first, but then decided she might as well get things over with. "What is it, Brooke?" The brunette eyed her for a minute before responding, "It's just, _I_ know you're super in love with Nathan. But then you break up with him, and when I try to convince you to take him back, you just get mad at me, but when I try to convince you to move on, you fall into this deep dark hole filled with grunge rock and sketch pads that no one can pull you out of," she watched as Peyton went to defend herself but stopped her, "and don't try to say it isn't true because it _is_ P. Sawyer, so tell me what's going on" she pouted at the blonde who was now sprawled out on her bed with her hands over her face.

Peyton groaned and sat up. "It's just, I take him back Brooke, but for what? He just does it again, and I just dump him again, and take him back again. He doesn't care at all, and it makes me look so stupid to care so much." At those words Brooke pulled her friend into a hug, letting her head rest on her shoulder so she could speak gently into her ear, "Oh sweetie, he _does_ care. We all know that boy is crazy about you, he's just, trying to figure out how to show it." She looked down at her friend, who had, with lackluster, nodded her head in the affirmative, and decided to change the subject. "So, Jake will be at this party tonight…" she said, wiggling her eyebrows, and she was glad to see the sparkle in her friend's eye and the slight smile come to her face as she playfully rolled her eyes.

The girls talked and laughed for another hour before the brunette glanced at the clock. It was already 4, and she really needed to make another stop on her way home to get ready for the party. As she said her goodbye, she stopped in the doorway before leaving, "I'll be back to pick your skinny ass up and help you pick out something at least halfway decent to wear at 8 o'clock, so I expect you to not be pouting when I get back."

Peyton groaned, "_Brooke_ – "

"Don't 'Brooke' me P. Sawyer. I need you to be my wingman tonight" she said sternly, but really, she just wanted her best friend to get out of the stupor she had fallen into. Peyton rolled her eyes, they both knew that Brooke didn't need a wingman to have Jake falling all over himself, he was so smitten, but she agreed to go anyway and was slightly pleased with herself when she heard the squeal leave her best friend's mouth upon her grumbled response. As she watched Brooke leave, she turned her stereo on and proceeded to lie back against the pillows on her bed. Sighing, she knew it would be a long night.

Nathan put the weights down that he had in his hands when he heard incessant knocking on his door. He opened it to be met by none other than Brooke Davis' angry glare. He crossed his arms in front of him, not caring to wipe the sweat off his brow that threatened to stream down his face.

"What do you want Brooke?" he asked, a little impatient and irritated with her for showing up at his house unannounced. She pushed past him and walked into the Scott home, knowing full well that it would serve to anger him further, but at the point she had reached, she really didn't care. When she finally reached his kitchen, she took a seat on one of the bar stools that surrounded the island. Crossing her legs, she sat waiting for Nate to follow. He did, after telling her to speak but getting no response except a raised eyebrow and a pointed look towards a chair. He looked at her expectantly, but when she still didn't speak, he leaned his head back and groaned with exasperation, "What do you _want_, Brooke?"

She looked him in the eye when she responded. "I want you to stop." His forehead wrinkled in confusion before he asked her to clarify, not really in the mood for her word games. "Stop hurting Peyton. She doesn't deserve it and I know you love her and she loves you so just, stop hurting her," she bore into his eyes, really hoping he would understand and that maybe all of the Nathan and Peyton drama would come to an end, but all she received was an angry scowl in return.

"Don't act like you know about us, Brooke. Just butt out" he growled at her, angry that she had the audacity to talk to him about his and Peyton's relationship, but even more so for insinuating that he hurt Peyton on purpose – he would never do that. Brooke shook her head in the affirmative, "I don't know everything, but I know enough. You're my friend Nate, but she's my best friend, so stop it." She stood to stand but was stopped by Nathan's voice. "You don't just get to show up here and say stuff like that Brooke. It's none of your business!" She looked at him sadly, wondering where the boy she had grown up with went, and when it had happened. She shook her head at him and continued walking, as she opened the door, she turned and looked at him with an expression more serious that the one's Brooke Davis often wore. "You know the saying, 'break her heart and I'll break your face?'" she didn't wait for him to respond before continuing, "Well, you'd better quit screwing with her or I'll break an appendage you like far more." Then she was gone, and she left Nathan sitting, wide-eyed and open-mouthed in her wake.

Peyton and Brooke arrived at the beach a little after 9 o'clock, and though Brooke was quickly swept up in the party scene, Peyton was hanging by the bonfire. She had spotted Nathan with the team soon after her arrival, but she hadn't spoken to him. She was planning to take him back, whenever he decided to come around, but that didn't mean she wanted to approach him – her last shreds of dignity were sewn into the fact that, even if he strayed elsewhere, he would always make his way back to her bedroom to apologize. It was one of the few things about their relationship that she could take pride in, one of the few things that didn't make her look pathetic. She looked up from her halfway empty cup and noticed Nathan coming towards her.

He wasn't sure why he was approaching her now. He had originally planned to have his fun for a little while, maybe even a few more days, and then get her back. Yet, the words that Brooke had thrown at him before had been playing on repeat in his head ever since she'd left his house, and seeing her sitting alone on the beach, sad in the midst of all the excitement joy and chaos that was the first party of the summer, Brooke's words were only amplified. _Stop it. You're hurting her. _It wasn't like he meant to, he never meant to, he just…didn't think before he acted. And so he was a jerk. But he still loved her. And she looked really cute with her black bikini on under her shirt. So he was going to make things right – he didn't want anyone else in this moment more than he did her. He just hoped he would be able to convince her.

He kept walking through the sand, silently cursing the flip flops that he wore – despite them being comfortable on solid ground, they were not the best footwear for the beach. When he reached her he took a seat on the sand next to her and for a while they just sat in silence, watching the deep bright embers of the fire before them. After a few minutes, Nathan broke the quiet.

"I miss you, Peyton" he said, not having truly realized just how much until he was with her again, saying the words. He didn't really like their breakups, but they gave him the opportunity to mess around with other girls and she couldn't be mad at him, so he never really complained too much about them. This one, however, had gone on longer than he was comfortable with, and though being able to openly be with other girls was nice, it didn't really make him feel any less like he was cheating on Peyton, hell, at least when he was with her we was able to talk to her. On their breaks, they just avoided each other or yelled, depending on whether a feasible escape route was accessible when they ran into each other.

She could feel his blue eyes boring into the side of her face, but she refused to look at him. She couldn't believe she was so weak. All of the time, despite her best intentions and her rants to Brooke about being done with Nathan for good, when she wasn't with him, her heart hurt. But when she was with him, he hurt her heart any way. She wasn't sure how to feel about it. She felt his hands, strong and calloused from years of basketball, yet surprisingly gentle, reach out and touch her chin, turning her head softly until she was facing him. "I'm sorry" he said again, sounding just as earnest as he always did. "For what?" she asked, wondering if he was apologizing for something specific, or just trying to tell her what she wanted to hear. "Everything. I love you, even when I act like a jerk." He meant what he was saying, and she knew it, but that may have been even worse. If he loved her like he said he did, then why wasn't she enough to make him stop screwing around on her? Why wasn't she enough to make him want to not act like a jerk? She didn't know, but the deep yellows and oranges cast from the fire across his face made his blue eyes all the more mesmerizing, and quickly she was lost. She nodded her head, and for the first time in over a week, when he leaned down to kiss her lips, she didn't turn away.

**A/N: Leave a review and tell me what you think. **

**Aryn**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Open Wounds**

**A/N: The last author's note warning still stands: I'm a terrible updater, even though this one got out pretty quickly. There might be something that could offend some people towards the end, I don't think it should, but it's not graphic and you'll know before you get to it, so yeah, act in accordance with your own beliefs and sensibilities. Thanks for everyone who has taken the time to read or review or put this story on alert. I hope you enjoy the chapter. **

They had remained wrapped up in one another on the beach for another hour before Nathan had gotten sick of the constant interruptions between him and his girlfriend. The final straw had been Tim cheering loudly in the background about Nate's newest blonde, only to turn away sheepishly when he realized it was Peyton. The glare Nathan had sent in his direction had him turning to leave their area quickly, but the mood had been effectively ruined. Nathan conjured up a weak smile to send to his girlfriend, and though she tried to it, the anger, turmoil, and, beyond that, hurt, were barely concealed in her hazel green eyes. It was after then that Nate suggested they go to his family's beach house.

Peyton found Brooke to tell her that she wouldn't be going home with her, but from the alcohol her friend had consumed, tied together with the fact that she was apparently playing a game of cat and mouse that seemed like it would be ending tonight, Peyton figured the brunette wasn't all too concerned with her whereabouts anyway.

As she left them to their…foreplay, she spotted Nathan standing off to the side of the party, waiting patiently for her. She walked in his direction and took the hand that he had extended for her. They walked in a comfortable silence – having dated for six months, they had grown used to lulls in the conversation, and had actually come to enjoy them.

Peyton was lost in her thoughts. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but Tim's comment had really bothered her. She knew that people knew that there were issues in their relationship, but it had never crossed her mind that more than few people, including herself and Nathan, knew the particulars. It didn't sit well with her. And if Tim knew, everyone knew.

She was glad to have reached the Scott house because it meant she could get some space from Nathan as he unlocked the door, and space was all of a sudden very appealing. She could feel her tear ducts trembling and at the same time, she wanted nothing more than to ball her fists up and hit the boy who had made her chest ache this way.

Despite this mixture of emotions that hat swirled up inside of her, she followed him into the house quickly after he finally pushed the door open, if for nothing more than to avoid having a breakdown forty yards away from almost everyone she knew. She closed the door behind her, but walked warily into the house, all of the good feelings she had for Nathan less than thirty minutes ago propelling her forward, but her more recent thoughts screaming at her to run out of the house, away from him, before it was too late. So she stopped, and stood still, not daring to move an inch in either direction.

Nathan noticed that he didn't hear any movement behind him, so he turned around to see what was going on behind him. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes raked over his girl's body. He may not have been the smartest guy walking around Tree Hill, but he could read body language; her eyes were squinted the slightest bit and her mouth was curved downward into something between a grimace and a frown – she was thinking about something. Her right arm was strewn across her body, holding her left arm at the elbow.

This, however, he could tell was not Peyton Sawyer gearing up for a fight. She wasn't scowling at him and her arms weren't crossed defensively. Her eyes were sad and her mouth was questioning and her arms were less ready to attack him, and more wrapped around herself in a protective stance. She just looked vulnerable.

But Peyton was the strongest girl he knew.

He cursed himself for it.

"What's wrong, babe?" he halfway hoped she would shake her head a little, say nothing, and walk over to him so that they could continue the night that, for a while, had looked like it was going to turn out very nicely. The other half of him knew his hopes would be dashed.

"I," she paused and raised her head up more, reminding him of the girl he was used to. He wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing for him.

"Does everyone know?" she finally asked.

"Know what?"

She continued on as if she hadn't heard his question to her question. "I mean, if Tim knows, there's a good chance other people do, too."

He grimaced. _Oh_, _that_, he thought to himself. He could really pummel Dim right now, for putting him in this awkward spot. He wasn't really sure how she wanted him to respond. If he said no then she wouldn't believe him. If he said yes then he was sure it would just hurt her even more.

He didn't say anything.

She waited for his response, but the longer he stood there, staring at her, the angrier she got. She let her left arm fall from her right and moved closer to him.

"Answer me, Nathan! How many people out there on that beach right now know what an idiot I am? Huh?" she was standing right in front of him then, her arms crossed over her chest.

_Fuck. _Now she was mad. He could tell. He probably should've just given her an answer, but he knew either way he went he was pretty screwed. Finally he mumbled out a response.

"I don't know."

Wrong words.

She was seeing red everywhere that he was. "How don't you know! It's a pretty simple math problem: add up all of the skanks you screwed and all of the people you told about it afterwards."

Nathan may not have known how to answer her previous questions, but he sure knew not to answer this one with the truth. If he told Peyton a_n actual _number, then that would include basically all of the guys on the team, _all _of the girls that he'd been with – which was a number that Peyton would never know if he had his way – and all of the people that they had either let it slip to, or bragged about, depending on which category they fell into. Needless to say, he was going to lie.

"Maybe one or two, Peyton" she glared, so he quickly amended his statement, "Four tops, I swear" he looked at her with pleading eyes, begging her to drop it. They had been having a good night, he didn't know why she wanted to ruin it so badly. He reached out to touch her arm, but she backed away from his touch as if she'd been burned.

"I don't know what you want me to say. It's not like I go around bragging about it." _Lie._ "A couple of the guys have guessed or seen it happen" _Lie. _"But no more than that. I wouldn't screw around on you in a room full of people" _Another Lie. "_And you know there's only been two girls." _Lying again. One more time, Pinocchio. _ "I swear that's it. Baby, you have to believe me."

And the thing was, she wanted nothing more than to do just that. She wanted to fall into his arms and give him everything he could ask her for, she had given him just that on numerous occasions. Still, the way he spoke to her, so earnestly, had her cold exterior melting away. She didn't want to fight, so she just nodded, burying her doubts, and walked past him into the den.

The sigh of relief she heard him release when she passed him didn't do much to help her peace of mind.

They were sitting on his bed, a random film played on the screen, but neither teen was paying it much, if any, attention.

Nathan had Peyton's thick blonde curls tangled in the fingers of his left hand while his right hand roamed up her smooth thighs, higher and higher, until he was touching the bare skin of her abdomen. Her skin was always so soft beneath his roughened hands. He moved his lips away from hers to her neck, kissing the spot just below her jaw.

Peyton heard herself moan, and her body was on fire. She felt like Nathan was everywhere as she felt his hands in her hair, his lips moving from her lips to her collar bone and back again, under her shirt and still in constant motion. It wasn't until they left her chest and moved south, stopping to rest at the button on her pants, before wrestling with it. It was only then that she noticed just how hard he was pressed against her leg. She broke away from the kiss then, but Nathan didn't seem to mind, settling on her neck once more. As much as her body was telling her mind to just shut the hell _up_, she still had to speak up.

"Nate," his name exited her lips more like a prayer than an attempt at gaining his attention.

"Nathan, wait," once again, her protest came out as a breathy moan – it was no wonder he wasn't taking her seriously.

"Come on, babe," He continued to kiss her and, though, her body did indeed want it, she couldn't help but know that her heart and head weren't ready. She pushed at his chest, this time with some force , and he yelled out a curse as he lost his balance and fell of the bed and onto the floor.

"What the fuck, Peyton!" he screamed, frustrated in more ways than one. He ran is hands through his dark hair trying to calm his nerves and ignore the throbbing in his pants.

"You know I'm not ready Nathan" Peyton shot back as she fumbled to button her top back up and her jeans shorts.

He sneered at her, "You seemed pretty ready to a minute ago" he stood up and noticed the anger that had formed in her eyes. He sighed, "I just don't get it," he went and sat back on the couch next to her.

"You liked what we were doing" he noticed her about to interject but held his hand up to stop her, "don't try to say you didn't, because I _know _what it looks like when someone is into it. And you love me, and I love you, so what's the problem, babe?" he looked into her eyes, actually wanting a response.

Sure he was ticked that she had let him get so far only to tell him to stop, but he did eventually want to have sex with his girlfriend – maybe just asking was the way to figure out how to do it.

She looked at the boy in front of her and wondered if he even knew that his words had stung her. _I __**know **__what it looks like when someone is into it. _Yeah, she knew he did, it was their biggest problem, him not resisting when someone was into him. At least for now she could blame his straying on the fact that he wasn't getting any from her – he was a teenaged boy, he was horny. At least she could put more of it on him now, but if he went off with other girls _after_ she gave him the last thing she had to offer, she wouldn't be able to handle it.

"I don't want to do thisNathan, and have you just act like it doesn't mean anything. I don't want to – I won't – give you all of me just for you to say it's not enough" she was looking anywhere but at him because when she did look at him, all she wanted to do was give him everything he asked for.

Nathan looked at her like she was crazy. Did she really think that he would just disregard what they did together? "Baby, I love you, and anything you gave me would be more than I could ask for_. _You have to believe that."

"You're lying."

"No, I swe-" but he was interrupted.

"You're lying, Nate, and you don't even know when you're doing it! Don't tell me 'anything I give you is enough' because it hasn't been. What I've given you since we've been together hasn't been."

He didn't really know what to say. Obviously, he knew cheating was wrong. But she never seemed to take it too hard, and they always got back together. Because they loved each other. He loved _her_.

"Peyt, I love you."

"That doesn't matter. You don't love me enough, and if we do this, I can't take it back. I love you Nate, but I can't give you all that's left and two weeks later find out it wasn't, that _I wasn't,_ enough. I won't be able to pick myself up from that" she turned away from him so she wouldn't see the sadness in his eyes. This was his fault, his issue. He didn't get to feel bad about it all of a sudden.

She felt his hand on her shoulder, caressing it gently. Then she heard his voice in her ear. "Don't you love me Peyt?" She turned around then, having to look at him, slightly horrified that he could think she didn't, slightly incredulous that he had the audacity to be asking _her _that question. She had never been anything but loyal to him – his doormat. Of _course _she loved him. Even when she tried to stay away, she couldn't.

"Yes." Then she felt his lips on her neck, in the spot that drove her crazy, right near her pressure point. His lips were soft but strong, even more so when she began to respond to his urging.

He kissed up her jaw and to her ear, "I love you, too. So much. Let me prove it. I can show you, will you let me show you?" he whispered. She didn't even know when or how she had ended up facing him again, but his lips were back on hers, and she felt herself nodding. He smiled against her lips and one hand came to cradle her head as he guided them gently back onto the bed, his other hand undid the buttons she had just recently clasped.

Soon she was in nothing but a bra and panties; he was in nothing but his boxers. Nathan was everywhere and she was losing her mind, she had never been touched this way before, not by Nathan or any other guy, and her body was definitely responding. She moaned into his touch as his fingers entered her for the first time. She was tight, and as he entered a second finger there was slight discomfort but his lips on her neck and breasts and lips were distracting her from it.

Then, her bra was off, and so were her panties. He stopped moving above her then, and she opened her eyes to look into his questioning blue ones. He looked hesitant, and they asked all the questions that he didn't voice. She nodded, and he smiled. Then his boxers were off, and he was fumbling around in his jeans pockets. She looked at him questioningly.

"Condom."

She nodded, feeling stupid for not having thought of that. Just as quickly as the thought had appeared it was gone as Nathan was now back over her. He kissed her gently, one hand cupped her face as he used the other to guide himself in to her. It hurt, nothing had hurt in that way ever before, but the way the boy above her looked at her like there was no one more important, no one more meaningful to him, made the pain less. A tear leaked from her eye and he stopped his forward movement instantly, to wipe it away.

He steadied his breathing, "We can stop, Peyton. If you don't want this, we can, I can st – " but he was cut off as her lips touched his own. It wasn't a searing kiss, but when she disconnected from his lips, said, as if it was this simplest thing in the world, the most assured words she'd ever spoken, "Don't," and looked into his eyes, he knew that it meant more. It meant that she trusted him, that, she was his in a way she'd never belonged to anyone before, and he felt all of his worries and fears about her changing her mind about this, about them, disappear.

He continued to move slowly, building up a quicker pace as she grew more comfortable. "You're so beautiful" he whispered into her ear, and she cried out in response. He knew he was close, but he wanted to hold on to this moment forever. She tightened around him and breathed out his name like it was a prayer, a wish, and a dream all in one, and then he lost himself.

When their breathing had finally slowed he rolled from over top of her, not wanting to crush her with his weight, and then pulled her tightly into his chest. He kissed her lips passionately and held her close to him. "I do love you, Peyt. And I'm not gonna hurt you again. You believe me right?" He felt bad now for the way he had convinced her to go into this, and he didn't want her to have any regrets. Not when he didn't.

"She looked into his eyes and saw more than was usually revealed, and her heart soared, because she did believe him.

"I do." Maybe it was stupid to trust him. He had let her down so many times before. But she loved him, he could sell her magic beans and Atlantis, and she'd still buy it.

**There it is. I hope you all enjoyed it. Please review, whether it's good or bad. Thanks for reading. **


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